Day 78: 1000 One Step Journeys

Often as I sit before the keyboard and the screen I wonder exactly what I am going to write next.  Will it please me or will it suffice.  More frequently than I like it only does the later.  Will it extend the blossoming work I am doing on the Shanty lines?  Will it be something entirely new and intriguing?  Or will it be something more like this?  My brain dumping a few thoughts to barely cover a debt to me of sevety-eight days ago.

I might not always be proud of the content, but I am continually happy that I don’t let myself get away with a fail.

The feeling of not writing tonight or any time is exactly like the craving I get on the penultimate day of a fast.  I’ve done enough.  There’s nothing I prove by going one more day when I’ve already gone this long.

Bargaining with oneself is so odd, so ironic.  If you could video tape a person doing this in their heads and play it back it would be comical, sad, or both.  The audience–even the auto-audience–wouldn’t fall for it.  They wouldn’t understand how either half of the man could.  Yet I do.  Or at least I can.  It’s nice to use that oddity for something constructive.

They–the Chinese ‘they’–say that a journey  of a thousand miles begins with the first step.  What they don’t tell you is that the the journey is made up of first steps.  It’s hard every time.

Word count: 245