For some this may be NSFW.
The trip to Stillwater last evening was bookended with Kid Rock’s “Cocky” set on repeat play. One of the characters from my unwritten fantasy novel is based on Kid Rock as evidenced by this album–specifically the title track. He needs work.
I stumbled on my desire to do a literal translation of Kid Rock into a traditional fantasy character. In much the same way that minerals replace organic material to fossilize a bone or petrify wood I proceeded to replace Kid Rock’s traits with appropriate ones from my nascent [pause to confirm I know what nascent meant] world.
Rapping became a style of knife fighting never officially called ‘trapping’. I probably could pull that graceless term off in the context of the story but still, not pretty.
Then I got stuck on replacing the lyrics. I didn’t plan of Stet singing or speaking while he was ‘trapping’ but I did want his normal demeanor to include the poetic vulgarity that I assume permeates Kid Rock’s persona. I’ve never seen a single author translate curse words into their world in a believably offensive way. “Pussy and blow. You know how I live. Can’t say that Kid. Fuck off, I just did,” just doesn’t stand up to speculative word replacement for the shock and awe it imposes on a reader. So now I’m left to use language in a book that I’ve never read in a novel and I doubt is super-great for getting published. Place derailed and abandoned train here.
Maybe I need to embrace my inner sailor and just write it with all the offensive language and womanizing. Maybe my fantasy doesn’t get to have sensitive princes and doting wizards. Maybe I get middle fingers and potty mouths.
Word count: 284