There is really no way this is going to work. The keyboard is all over the place and the sound echoes oddly. And it’s bullshit steam of consciousness writing about the physicality of typing. Meta of meta.
Nanowrimo starts tomorrow and everyone who writes thinks about it tonight in one way or another or another. The pros I’m sure call bullshit amonst themselves, but publicly some bother to help us amateurs out with tips and thoughts and encouragement and mild but not emphatic endorsement of our efforts. I say our because I’m not a pro not because I’m participating.
I call bullshit too.
Do I write crap here and call it sufficient? Yes. Have I participated in Nano? Yes. Have I completed it–or God help me–won it? No. I can’t do it. I don’t have the organization or time or personal fortitude to do it. I can’t write 1667 words a day. Just plain can’t.
I’m unprepared. I don’t write quickly. I agonize over lines. I don’t know that I get caught up in what’s gone before as much as I stumble over what’s coming up, but both plague me.
When I know I’m writing trash, when I know that my time spent in front of the computer produces words which I will cut later, I stop. I ask myself why I would continue. I ask if I should turn around. If I should erase it all and start over. Many times I do start over because there is often no reason to let those words see the light of day. There is no reason because those words don’t represent me.
If I take the time to tap away at this keyboard I’d like the results to please me. When I find myself using passive voice or staggeringly poor comma placement I feel it. I fix it. (You know, when I notice I’m feeling it). That’s how I get better, by not letting myself accept crap writing (again, when I notice). Christ, if I detect a string of meager verbs or a chunky clunky sentence stumbling like a drunk in a ditch then God help the rest of you who read this crap.
Especially this this crap.
It’s Sunday, so I absolve myself for these weekly heavings and hope I got the commas right.
Maybe if I mention Nanowrimo again in the last paragraph it won’t be as obvious I drifted off my original point.
405 words on day 576