Reading up on introductory participial phrases last night, I decided I might add those to my list of comma exercises, but I won’t do that today.
Wither shall my women go?
If I were to make what I wrote the opening scene of a story, I’d need to feather in the differences between witches and sorceressess since I’ve essentially defined that as the dynamic between Rhoda and Wendle. Also, it might be good to explain why they’re meeting at a third party alter in the woods. As well as back down from the “I caught you on the way” feel I’ve set up so far.
Or write a better beginning.
Let’s think about the timing of that a bit. Pre-abduction just gives me an excuse to slap three chapters of back story before the kidnapping: Morgan, Wendle, and Rhoda. I could probably shorten that to two by doing Morgan-Wendle and Morgan-Rhoda. Then slice out the explicit kidnapping since I’d’ve foreshadowed that anyway and drop straight to what I’ve already written. At least that way I’m grounding the reader and getting some of the faceplant effect of what’s written. Caring for Morgan as Wendle and Rhoda do pulls in sympathy to make Morgan less of a McGuffin.
Then there’s the other people likely to want to rescue Morgan I need to neutralize: the eight brothers. One could be dead already, one could be in a politically difficult position, one could be a fuck-up, two could be unreachable, one could be missing, two could be with her. That was easy.
267 words on day 587