The Prof Searches for Magic Books

Carroll Palmer glides among the tables of books like a phonograph playing a record.  His fingers touching every book on every table.  He likes this stall at the flea market.  They display the books spine up in empty cardboard soda can pallets.  Each row book ended with a neatly stacked pile of books.  His eyes run along the rows glimpsing portions of titles just ahead of his more through touch.  He knows what he’s looking for but expects to find it only rarely.

This flea market meets Saturdays, Sundays, and Mondays.  He comes all three days if he can, but not every week.  In two years of attending he’s bought three sets of crew socks, an arrangement of silk flowers, and a swivel seated barstool rescued from a diner, but no books.  No, no he did buy that spine broken John Jakes novel; he’s a sucker for Historicals and a first edition, though book club edition, of Stranger in a Strange Land in pretty good shape.  All of this before his author died of shame.

###

Karen dabbed the last bite of her funnel cake in the powdered sugar still on her paper plate.  Professor Palmer was late.

“Karen,” Professor Palmer tapped her shoulder from behind.  She turned her surprised jump into a folding of the plate and a throwing of it away. (eesh)

He held up his arm to show off his digital watch.  It was a sports watch and it looked new except for the display which read out a splash of characters that looked Cyrillic or alien.  In one corner, the liquid crystal had popped, the ink expanded out.

“I have a charm I do that usually gives me three months before they die.  But I had this one running on [jarbly] time for a project I’m working on.”

“Guess they don’t mix?”

“I’ll have to tweak the charm next time.”  He opened his arms for a hug and to offer a further apology for being late.  Karen hugged him back warmly.

“Can you teach me?” she asked.

“The tweak? No, no.  I’d need to teach you the charm first.  That [jarbly] tweak wouldn’t make sense without it. Oh!  But that’s what you meant.  Sorry, sorry.  Having my watch lie to me about the time throws me all off.”

Karen smiles back at him and throws in an quick second hug.  “Why are we here?”

Professor Palmer claps his hands together and rubs his palms like he’s getting down to business.  He presses his clasped hands to his lips and draws a preparatory breath.  He let’s is out again. “What?  What did you ask me just now?”

“Why are we here?  Are we looking for something or have we found it already?”

“I love how your brain works.  You’re all figure-ground. Solid-void.  Then you reverse it like Rubin could: ground-figure; void-solid.”  The Professor’s head drifted to the right in other thoughts, “God, I miss Edgar.  Huff, oh well.  Why are we here today you asked.”

Karen licks a tantalizing bit of powdered sugar from the corner of her mouth.  It’s sweet but you can only take so much of it.

“We’ve found this flea market so the finding’s covered, but we’re also looking for something else so we’re at both ends here.  Books.”  He points a finger-gun over her shoulder past the concession stand.  He pops his lips.  “Allons-y.”

Karen stuffs her funnel cake trash in the Rubbermaid bin and follows after the old man.

###

The Professor moves quickly to their goal.  As he navigates the unordered strollers she’s certain he’s unconsciously casting charms to slide the human obstacles out of the way but she’s not seeing any gestures or hearing any invocations.  It’s one thing to know a person is a master it’s another to see it—or not see it—in use.  She keeps quiet the whole way down the lane past socks, luggage, and stuffed magenta monkeys.

Karen spies the stall just before they arrive.  He’s parted the crowd before getting there and pauses  a moment to look.  He clucks his teeth with his tongue like an owner would call a cat.  The few remaining patrons depart the book stall.  He looks back.

“I like it to myself,” he gives her a wink and a cluck.  They stroll under the tent’s arch and into the sun lit stall.

Books stand on their edges in cardboard soda pallets, spines up.  They have the energy of race horses clamoring in a gate waiting on a gun’s crack.  Boxes of National Geographics and TV Guides bookend each table.  The vibrancy of colors and scattered rhythm of sizes would be dizzying if the humid musk of wood pulp weren’t already intoxicating.  Large square hard bound picture books congregate with and blend into cookbooks of similar sizes.  Fat yellow dictionaries give way to brown clad Bibles.  On another table several class sets of Catcher in the Rye, Romeo and Juliet, and Animal Farm are arranged in replacement bundles.  Along the back of the U-shaped stall the near noon sun floods in warming the repeatedly sold paperbacks.  Index cards helpfully call out the alphabet to aid purchase.  The aroma of paper in this part of the stall is like the last sip of a cocktail: all liquor.

Karen realizes only the two of them are under the awning.  The seller has gone with the patrons.  “Shouldn’t we…”  The Professor waves a hand dismissively.

“…I’ll bring him back when we’re ready.  If we find anything.  This looks like the same stock from a month ago when I was here in the rain.”

“What’s the title of the book?”

“No idea.”

“OK.  What kind of book are we looking for?”

“Magic of course.”  She knows he’s playing with her.  He’s never not teaching.

“Is it big or small?”

“Today it’s not one answer for the right question, it’s the right questioning for the one answering.”

“You’ve been working on that line.  I don’t think it makes as much sense as you think it does.”

“It probably doesn’t.  I’ll have to fidget the wording a bit for next time.  Come here.”  Karen joins Professor Palmer by the big books near the entrance.  He’s holding a red chamois that looks suspiciously like it’s been borrowed from a filling station.  “Put you hands out.  Palms up.”

Her hands are clean—sugar brushed off on here pants—so she doesn’t expect the severe scouring the get under his strong hands.  Just when she wants to complain and pull them back he folds the chamois carefully and purposefully wraps it in another thing of some kind that would make sense and I wouldn’t have to rewrite if I were allowed to take the time to write it right in the first place.  Basically this action will come back in the end, but I don’t know how or why.

My Script for the Viper Comics Talent Search

I wrote the following over a 10 day span for the Viper Comic talent search. The requirements were to write a 5 comic page script using existing comic book characters and do it in a generally acceptable format. I know I’ve accomplished the first two of those three things and am pretty sure about the last.

The announcement page indicated there would be opportunities for people who impressed them with their art or writing and that they would contact everyone. I haven’t heard back from them yet, but I’m posting this for you to enjoy.

The characters I’ve used are copyright and likely trademarks of Marvel Entertainment. Consider this a spec script akin to those written for television by those seeking entry to that world.

I’ve tried to recreate a representative format using as little code as possible.

20090825 Twitter Update from ViperComics: “For those anxiously awaiting for the viper talent search results… labor day weekend will be enlightening.”

PAGE ONE
(6 PANELS in 4 rows) PANELS 1 through 3 span the width of the page but form a single image broken into a triptych. PANELS 4 through 6 evenly divide the bottom row into thirds.

PANEL 1
JUBILEE sits atop a metal locker filled with propane tanks centered in the panel. Wires rise to an unseen ceiling on either side of her stringing something up. Above her head, barely in the panel, a row of boarded-up windows mostly block the night sky. One is busted open.

Jubilee wears a yellow jacket and a pair of stylish sunglasses pushed back on her head to control her mass of black hair. She’s holding a phone like she’s texting.

JUBILEE
Professor X says to say hello. So, they knock you out?

WOLVERINE
(from below)
Feels like Azaperone again.

JUBILEE
Again?

PANEL 2
WOLVERINE wearing a flannel shirt and jeans turns out to be what’s strung up like a swing. Wires sprout from between the two bones in his forearms and lower legs–one from each limb. Two more wires in the back of his hands bend the wrists back at 90˚ angles blocking his extended claws from retracting.

WOLVERINE
This ain’t my first puppet show. Gonna help me out here?

JUBILEE
(from above)
I already took out the four baddies. Gimme a sec.

WOLVERINE
There’ll be more.

PANEL 3
Three knocked out HYDRA AGENTS in green conclave-styled BDUs slump over tool benches and medical equipment. A FOURTH AGENT floats face up in a foot of water. Water drips from a slashed pipe onto two claw cut-out rings.

It’s finally clear Wolverine’s suspended in an interior room along the wall of a haphazardly appointed warehouse medical lab/machine shop.

PANEL 4
ZOOMED IN on Jubilee from the front texting (SFX: TEK-TEK-TEK.)

JUBILEE
Cut one head off…

PANEL 5
Wolverine HEAD ON. His arms and legs strain upward symmetrically like he’s parachuting. Jubilee, in profile, continues texting (SFX: TEK-TEK).

WOLVERINE
Tell me you ain’t texting Kitty.

PANEL 6
Same angle and action as Panel 4.

JUBILEE
Dude you got owned. This is going up on my Facebook page.

PAGE TWO
(8 PANELS) PANELS 1 through 6 form two rows of three panels each in the top half of the page. PANEL 7 INSETS into PANEL 8 which fills the lower half of the page.
PANEL 1

LOOKING DOWN through two wires in the foreground drawing focus because Jubilee’s sparking blobs (SFX: PAFF. VZHIM. ZZZIT.) of fireworks attack them. Below, arms raised and standing in water, Jubilee concentrates.

PANEL 2
Same as Panel 1 but no fireworks and Jubilee’s arms droop. Her concentration now disappointment.

JUBILEE
Too thin to focus on.

WOLVERINE
(off panel)
Have a look around.

PANEL 3
Jubilee sees the long handles of bolt cutters on a tool bench under a Hydra Agent.

JUBILEE
Ooo! Bolt cutters.

WOLVERINE
(off panel)
Big surprise. I’m hanging on wires.

PANEL 4
CLOSE UP of bolt cutters snipping (SFX: K-TANK) the first wire sprouting from the back of Wolverine’s right hand. The buckle along his palm makes it clear how he’s attached.

JUBILEE
(off panel)
Why not just wire cutters then?

WOLVERINE
(off panel)
Would I be here if these were regular wires?

PANEL 5
A WIDER VIEW including Jubilee’s hands on the bolt cutters snipping (SFX: K-TANK) Wolverine’s left hand free. In the background his right arm is still strung up but the hand and claws relax toward the ground.

JUBILEE
(off panel)
Adamantium?

WOLVERINE
(off panel)
Nope. Grade 5 titanium alloy. It’s cheaper and commercially available.

PANEL 6
A CLOSE UP similar to Panel 4 but the bolt cutters line up on the forearm wire this time. (SFX: K-TANK.).

JUBILEE
(off panel)
Of course. Cheaper. Commercially available. What’s the water?

WOLVERINE
(off panel)
Maybe there was a fight.

PANEL 7
(INSET of PANEL 8) Wolverine’s freed right hand swipes (SFX: SHINK!) the remaining left arm wire.

JUBILEE
(from Panel 8)
Uh?

PANEL 8
Wolverine pendulums down on the two leg wires, clangs (SFX: THUNK!) his head on a metal workbench, and ends hanging head down in the water near the Fourth Agent.

JUBILEE
OMG!

PAGE THREE
(6 PANELS) PANELS 1, 5, and 6 span the width of the page making up three of four rows. PANELS 2 through 4 evenly divide the second row into thirds. Similar to Page 1 but with the second and fourth rows swapped.

PANEL 1
WIDE on an urban neighborhood bar named THE SNAKE PIT and its accompanying side alley. A motorcycle with sidecar loiters in front of the bar this evening.
Two dumpsters and a parked car line the alley. The light above the bar’s side entrance silhouettes Wolverine halfway deep. One hand on the wall props him up the other helps him aim.

PANEL 2
Waist-up profile of Wolverine leaning. He faces the wall but his eye peers out of the page in anticipation. He sniffs (SFX: SNIFF?).

WOLVERINE
‘Bout time.

PANEL 3
Still from the waist up but facing away from the wall, Wolverine has turned to face his unseen attacker. His arms are angled equally as if he’s just grasped his zipper after finishing up. A single TRANQUILIZER DART sticks out from his chest above a breast pocket. He glances at it.

WOLVERINE
Really?

PANEL 4
Same as Panel 3 but Wolverine’s right arm is slightly higher than the left–all zipped up. Darts riddle his chest so thickly the shirt beneath is hidden.

WOLVERINE
(trickling off letters)
Better.

PANEL 5
FROM ABOVE the HYDRA SQUAD LEADER’S head looking toward the ground Wolverine lays front first on the cracked asphalt. His head, right shoulder, arm, and claws sprawl diagonally in the panel. The Squad Leader’s dark green boot crushes Wolverine’s wrist. His grappling-spear gun bursts into Wolverine’s hand (SFX: CHANK!).

PANEL 6
A series of “Chanks” (SFX: CHANK. CHANK. CHANK. CHANK…) crisply but subtly form the border between Panels 5 and 6.

FROM ROOFTOP height the darkening alley looks like a rectangular box. Glow from the bar’s neon sign lights up Wolverine’s motorcycle out front. The semi-circular shape of light from the side entrance balances the semi-circular ring of THIRTEEN HYDRA AGENTS and the Hydra Squad Leader surrounding Wolverine.

Umbilical-like wires from each of their grappling-spear guns connect the Hydra Agents to their prey. Several hover slightly above the rest on jetpack blasts ready to hoist him away.

PAGE FOUR
(6 PANELS) PANELS 1 through 3 evenly divide the top row into thirds. Panels 4 through 6 span the width of the page making up the last three of four rows.

PANEL 1
Wolverine hangs by both leg wires while Jubilee stands on the workbench hurriedly snipping (SFX: T-KANK.) the right one.

WOLVERINE
(drowning letters)
Gurgle.

PANEL 2
Jubilee snips (SFX: T-KANK.) the final wire and Wolverine drops to the floor.

PANEL 3
CLOSE ON Wolverine sitting in water pulling the last wire from his leg and jeans. He stares at the two cut-out pipe rings. Jubilee is just a pair of legs–nice boots!

JUBILEE
(stress on first word)
Maybe there was a fight?

WOLVERINE
Probably there was a fight.

PANEL 4
The Fourth Agent sprawls face up on floor with Wolverine pulling what may be a Zippo-style lighter out of the man’s utility pocket. The arrangement mimics Page 3, Panel 5. Jubilee’s boots beside the two men being a new addition to the cast.

WOLVERINE
Ready for the ten outside?

JUBILEE
(off panel)
Are we looting them too?

WOLVERINE
You take three on the left. I’ll get the other seven.

JUBILEE
(off panel)
Whatever. Stand back old man.

PANEL 5
From the rafters of the outside warehouse the lab door swings open (SFX: WHAM!) revealing Jubilee and Wolverine (SFX: SNIKT). Some water spills out over their ankles. Jubilee flings a flash-bang (SFX: KRRACK!) of fireworks into the room illuminating only eight surprised Hydra Agents and their long shadows. One is the Squad Leader.

JUBILEE
Close, eight. Let’s not kill anyone, K?

PANEL 6
Jubilee and Wolverine in the thick of the fight make their way across the warehouse floor from the lab to the exit door.

Jubilee flashes (SFX: FIZZT. SSSPAK.) two Hydra Agents with a third collapsed at her feet. Three more lay in Wolverine’s wake–flat out, fetal, and on his knees puking. Claws out, Wolverine grasps the shoulders of Hydra Seven and knees him in the guts (SFX: WHUD!) and off his feet.

The Squad Leader blocks their exit.

JUBILEE
I think Pukey dropped his wallet.

WOLVERINE
I wasn’t looting.

PAGE FIVE
(7 PANELS) Same as Page 3 but with PANEL 2 INSET into PANEL 1. PANELS 1, 6, and 7 span the width of the page making up three of four rows. PANELS 3 through 5 evenly divide the second row into thirds.

PANEL 1
FROM BEHIND Wolverine’s claws extend the range of his outreaching arms–the hug of death pose–as he shields Jubilee from gunfire. Over Wolverine’s shoulder Jubilee sees the Squad Leader fire his weapon (SFX: BAM!).

WOLVERINE
Grrrr.

PANEL 2
(INSET of PANEL 1) CLOSE UP of the bullet impacting (SFX: THUNK!) Wolverine’s shoulder from the front. Over his shoulder Jubilee’s whole body expresses surprise.

PANEL 3
CLOSE UP the Squad Leader’s angry face fills most of the panel while Wolverine’s claw and fist approach impact. The sound of his claws retracting spans this panel and Panels 4 and 5 (SFX: SN…).

PANEL 4
Milliseconds after Panel 3 Wolverine’s fist closes in on the Squad Leader’s face but the tips of his claws don’t get closer (SFX: …AA…).

PANEL 5
Milliseconds after that Wolverine’s bare fist, claws fully retracted, wallops (SFX: K-THUD.) the Squad Leader’s face (SFX: …KT!).

WOLVERINE
And my count wasn’t off.

PANEL 6
Outside on the loading dock, still in the doorway Hydra Nine and Jubilee are equally surprised as she flashes (SFX: POP! POP! POW!) him in the face. Wolverine slams the door hard and fast enough (SFX: WHAM!) that only Hydra Ten’s hand and part of his arm stick out from behind.

WOLVERINE
Sentries make it ten. The guy pinched my lighter a couple months back.

PANEL 7
WIDER from across the dock’s loading area Hydras Nine and Ten are out cold. Jubilee is jaw-droppingly incredulous. And Wolverine is down the steps, lighting a cigar, and headed out.

JUBILEE
This was all a set-up? Your set-up?

WOLVERINE
Yup. And some training for you.

JUBILEE
What am I a n00b?

WOLVERINE
Let’s get my scoot. I hooked up the side car for you.

JUBILEE
I guess you are the best at what you do.

WOLVERINE
Yup.

Friend Gromepurkå

http://daverapoza.wordpress.com/2009/06/28/tonights-sketch/

“Friend, Gromepurkå?” Rotcher asked for the second time.  Elenin use the epithet ‘friend’ among themselves without thinking on it much.  Humans employ it as a reminder or plea.  Rotcher might have said, “Please don’t kill me, Gromepurkå.”  Gromepurkå would have translated each the same.

Our begrudging leader paused his slogging and turned.  The pouring snow seemed to relent momentarily to swirl and hover around our guide rather than to rain down.  From my third position in the line, in Rotcher’s lee, I noted the incongruity between the lacy crystals accumulating and the abrupt tusks on which they accumulated.  Our training taught us soldiers to look first to the distance between an elenin’s nostrils and brow line for mood.  Close was bad; farther, less bad.  Our aboriginal trainer menacingly pointed out the only good distance was the one from which us humans could not see an elenin at all.  I thought on this each and every time that idiot, Rotcher, opened his mouth.  Gromepurkå’s lowered brow but unflared nostrils put us in the middle trending toward bad.

“Friend, Gromepurkå, you are truly a great bull to be leading we cows.  I beg your forgiveness, but my men and I must stop to find shelter if we are to live through the night.”  Gromepurkå’s brows raised.

“This?  I am amazed.  No.  I am amused,” he stopped speaking and did nothing for a moment.  I was sure he expected something from Rotcher.  I wasn’t sure if Rotcher knew or not.  “Which is it?  Am I amazed or amused?”

“We feel both appropriate.  If you’ll forgive us our impertinence suggesting we are coming to understand our bull-guide more closely, we believe you meant amused in this case.”

Days 401/402