Today Fifteen Equals Twenty

Following the completion of Jack M. Bickham’s Scene and Structure book I’m so filled with the desire to do good writing all I can muster is half-baked argument that reading suitably replaces writing.  It does not.  And, it will not.

I’m going to tweak my 20 minute drill to accommodate Jack’s hammered in, bent over, straightened back out, and then hammered in again point of stimulus begets response.  This drill should read as couplets of such a concept.  The first part poking you in the eye the second part bleeding all over your clean white shirt.

  1. Drapell poked Snodgrass in the eye.  The spew of blood back at Drapel whetted his face and cause him to gasp in surprise.
  2. The author’s words dully parroted what he said they would.  Readers yawned in sleepy reply.  And then groaned.
  3. Caleb flinched forward like an attack or a joke.  Reese dropped his hand to the gun at his hip with the careful ease of a 20 notch gunslinger.
  4. Bresten fingered the buttonhole of his new tweed jacket nervously.  His Mother snatch his hand away and smoothed out his arms and shoulders.  She pushed hi hair back and smiled at her son.
  5. Rain slathered the streets and the cars running along those narrow slick ways.  Drivers’ ducked low above the wheel peering out from wipers set to high.
  6. The orange leaf marbled with still-green streaks lit on the still water.  Ripples circles out from the impact and grew toward the edge of the tiny mountain pool.
  7. The M1-R67 dropped low over the tall grass of the high mountain prairie.  Startled crows lifted to the sky not eager to leave not willing to be killed.
  8. Inside the machine Ronald shrugged back his shoulders slowly.  The mechanized armor he wore settled comfortably back on its center of gravity and waited for more violent instructions to follow.
  9. The the drawn back sword lodged solidly in the wooden post of the smokey church.  Both combatants, the priest and the thief, paused in amusement.
  10. Fireflies burned on then off then on again in Daphne’s backyard.  She readied her jar with a few expert twists: leftie loosey.
  11. Under the full moon’s blaze the blued snow of Mt Fronne something happened.  Because of that something happened.
  12. The blued snow of Mt Fronne shown weirdly with the blackened sky as a backdrop. Tesper paused from his chase, smelled the world, and thought fondly of the moon above.
  13. Our author snagged by the interesting beauty of the image he wanted to make hung up in the execution of making it.  Fortunately he recovered int he next round.  And kinda the one after that. And then wondered if he’d not set the timer.  But was afraid to got check.  Nope set.
  14. The campfire cracked out and ember that went straight up into the night sky.  Everyone jumped then oooo’d in quiet enjoyment.  NO one saw the one that didn’t go straight up.
  15. The door creaked.  Timmy, five, willed his heart to stop beating.  It was loud and the murderer at the door could easily hear it and then quickly find him.  If only he could stop the loud sweating of his brow.

Days 404

Not Too Bad a Haul

one minute timer

Missed my normal morning hours so I’ve filled this space up with a 20 x 1 minute drill.

  1. Druuma dropped down the steep stone steps like a stream over rocks. At the bottom of the flight she splashed into the bright room.
  2. The wet clover field dissolved to white fog as high as a frog could leap.
  3. The hunting pack coursed through the slender trunks like a flock of earth-bound sparrows hunting flies, but these predators were after something less innocent.
  4. Ruins of the conquered city struggle to discern themselves form the natural boulders scattered around the really really dull area that I wasn’t hoping to be so dull.
  5. Charkon’s face tensed from the pain. His ears curled forward and his brow stretched smooth while the doctor punctured the skin of his forearm.
  6. Of course the first thing you saw were the tats. They began like threads on her fingertips then tangled their way to her knuckles, the bcks of her hands, and her wrists like inky cobwebs.
  7. It just didn’t make sense. As hard as Tromber tried to filter the cachophony from the stall woman speaking t him about the fruits for ale he couldn’t understand what she was saying. Couldn’t…
  8. Tom Tom criticized the music, the fire, and the air around him. No campfire-fair would ever live up to the gatherings of his tribe, his people. That’s mainly how it began.
  9. Buttercups speckled the clover field thickly with white. Barefoot, we feared to move for stepping on one of the tiny bees buzzing. So many hovered…
  10. Dripping. Dripping and darkness. That’s how I’d describe the cave. Those and maybe endless. Each drop made a noise nearby the spread to the edges of the dark world and I could hear all that space.
  11. Flits and skids and full sized ferries aimed their bows toward the floating city and punched ignition buttons simultaneously.
  12. The force vents warmed at idle. Each squad of mages assigned to them relaxed while a babysitter kept the trottle-spell engaged.
  13. “I said, ‘Duck into the closet and stay there till I return.'” Please stay there I thought. I won’t return and you need to stay alive till someone does. Someone you won’t know but someone who’ll protect you better than I have.
  14. Texas is so god-damned big. You can’t get across it from east to west in a single day, but by fucking god you’ll want to in July. Even if you have to risk being pulled over by State Patrol in Amarillo.
  15. Vyspinian drifted at the edge of real and fringe like a bee selecting which flower to rob of necter.
  16. The shape dropped from the crown of the tree. As it approached the level of our deckway it resolved into a hairy mass so large, so unbelievably solid, it being in the canopy int he first place…
  17. Susan, Carl, and Amber sat in silence at their little outside table. Inside the restaurant rumbled along like a train. Around them diners paid no heed, but for…
  18. Two hand counts of chickens chattered in the front yard while one lame cow struggled in the wet mud behind the cabin. Her hooves stamped and sucked in the muck.
  19. A flare of brass trumpeting shocked the gather Frome to their feet. Jonjill would enter the arean in a moment and none wanted to miss his final entrance.
  20. Chis wriggled his fingers then clenched them to fist. Opening his hands again he applied his fingertips to the keys and played.

In 20 More Minutes

I last did this work out in May.  I ought to do it more often as it really feels like a fun exercise.  Though maybe now I’ve done my warm up I should get to the real stuff?

  1. Crickets and insects from all angles along the ground and all arcs through the canopy rendered the jungle a screeching mass of noise.  Occasionally a monkey
  2. John stepped from the tub nearly naked.  Yes, nearly–not fully.  He’d thought it prudent to shower in his socks.  These public showers were notorious for
  3. Underpaw, the fallen leaves crackled as the fox strutted through the shadows near the edge of the glade.  Rabbit blood on his whiske
  4. The armada gathered.  Each member snipping in from underspace in about the same order they’d entered from the staging
  5. You just don’t think robots get rusty.  You don’t imagine them with shoddy paint jobs, dings around the joints, or rotten rubber hose dangling from gaps in
  6. Julie sat motionless near the base of a tree.  She held a crumb of bread in her hand and waited on a nearby robin.  None were coming and her arm ached.  But she had money on
  7. Colin gritted his teeth.  He pressed his finger tips and then the palm of his hand to the rear of the dead-battery Chevy and sealed his skin to the blue metal
  8. Drifting upward then sinking downward.  Drifting upward then sinking downward.  Hugh expected the sailboat to continue this way in it’s moorings till the end of time.  It , in fact, did not.
  9. “I will not do that again.” Jennifer told her sister.  She stamped her foot down for emphasis, but hit the edge of a stone in the pathway and the
  10. His face wore age the way toddlers wear heavy diapers: badly.  Lines molded his cheeks and forehead into
  11. The fabric evaporated from her body in the light breeze as if it were not attached to any part of the rest of itself.  The sun illuminated it
  12. Anger swelled in Christian’s chest like dead cat in the hot summer sun.  He’d seen
  13. Teacon paced to the edge of the stage and fired up his pad.  It booted quickly and charts were on the screen in front of the audience as the gunmen came into the auditorium from the
  14. Pip. Pip. Pip.  Scratch.  Flutter.  The wren never stopped moving.  Russell glared at it and wiggled a knob on his camera to
  15. The car ate other cars for breakfast and the writer cringed at the cliché.  He’d meant to right something a little more exciting about th
  16. The car fucked other cars sisters and then bragged about it.  It was sleek and red and never stopped looking like it was moving fast even when it wasn’t moving at all.  From the rear spoiler to the front end grill
  17. Leave off the car for God’s sake you’re sucking at it.  Maybe you can go with that old stand by of a leaf and a tree.  Doesn’t seem like you did that too obviously above and maybe no one notices.  Maybe.  Shit, 14 seconds left.  What are you going to write next?
  18. Travis scuffed his bare feet along the dirt road.  High bushes to his left obscured the dropoff cliff the
  19. Magic sloshed around in the room like a sailor still drunk three days into his leave.  The mages tried to capture it.  Tried to tame it.
  20. But in the end they were only able to guide it–more or less–toward the sword they’d intended to imbue.  Drips of manna seeped into the patchwork floor but most made it into the weapon.

Thanks Online-Stopwatch!

Day 330